Metallica: Through The Never (2013)

Metallica: Through The Never (2013)

Say what you will, Metallica's live sets never fail to impress.

Say what you will, Metallica’s live sets never fail to impress.

Twitter Plot Summary: Part Metallica concert, part interpretative mostly silent action movie. Entirely good.

Five Point Summary:

1. For Whom The Bell Tolls.
2. One.
3. Master of Puppets.
4. Nothing Else Matters.
5. Orion.

Through The Never – a name originating from Metallica’s self titled “Black Album” released in 1991 – mixes a…

View On WordPress

Blackfish (2013)

I'm sure this sort of behaviour is frowned upon in polite company.

I’m sure this sort of behaviour is frowned upon in polite company.

Twitter Plot Summary: A documentary about the killer whale(s) at SeaWorld, that were involved in the deaths of three people.

Five Point Summary:

1. Former SeaWorld folks dish the dirt. Good on them.
2. The first death. Scary stuff.
3. The name Killer Whale is clearly not just an attempt at irony.
4. That broken arm is gnarly.
5.…

View On WordPress

Rubber (2010)

The star of the show. Just because.

The star of the show. Just because.

Twitter Plot Summary: The tale of Robert, a tyre with psychic powers as it travels around the place and kills people randomly.

Five Point Summary:

1. A psychic tyre? That’s not that weird…
2. Scanners moment. Nice.
3. Stopping in a motel watching motorsports. Of course.
4. It’s getting very meta. As if it wasn’t already.
5. Hello, Hollywood.

Sometimes a film, or…

View On WordPress

Snowpiercer (2013)

All of them are trying not to smirk, clearly.

All of them are trying not to smirk, clearly.

Twitter Plot Summary: After an experiment turns the world to ice, the only survivors live aboard the Snowpiercer, a big train. Toot toot.

Five Point Summary:

1. This is a silly premise… oh well, might as well go with it!
2. Tilda Swinton – typically excellent.
3. Protein bars are… well, as icky as you might imagine.
4. What’s with the men dressed in…

View On WordPress

Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Such a well presented chap. Shame he'd eat your face if he got the chance.

Such a well presented chap. Shame he’d eat your face if he got the chance.

Twitter Plot Summary: Rookie FBI agent Clarice Starling interviews serial killer Hannibal Lecter hoping he can help her catch another killer.

Five Point Summary:

1. She’s tiny. Really tiny.
2. Did he just flick… yeah, he did. Ugh.
3. A head in a jar.
4. A cunning escape from his cell. Well done that man.
5. Pitch black…

View On WordPress

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

They just needed a sample of blood to see what made Sherlock tick.

They just needed a sample of blood to see what made Sherlock tick.

Twitter Plot Summary: The crew of the Enterprise return for another trip around the galaxy, taking in foes old and new. And old.

Five Point Summary:

1. Red planet, very white aliens. Very nice.
2. A lot of death.
3. Klingons! Awesome.
4. That’s a convenient place to leave a Tribble.
5. KHHAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

There was much…

View On WordPress

Star Trek (2009)

They couldn't believe how much lens flare there had been so far.

They couldn’t believe how much lens flare there had been so far.

Twitter Plot Summary: The Star Trek franchise gets a reboot and free reign to go off and do its own thing. So that’s what it does.

Five Point Summary:

1. Hey look, it’s Thor as Kirk’s dad!
2. So how did Bones get that nickname?….. never mind.
3. Vulcan is in a bit of bother.
4. Kirk’s kicked off the ship.
5. Showdown with Nero.

Befor…

View On WordPress

The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

The only thing more substantial than Basil's detective skills was his MASSIVE ego.

The only thing more substantial than Basil’s detective skills was his MASSIVE ego.

Twitter Plot Summary: An anthropomorphic version of Sherlock Holmes in the form of a mouse called Basil.

Five Point Summary:

1. Basil and Dawson? Right.
2. Ratigan, delightfully evil.
3. Fidget is awesome. Creepy, but awesome.
4. Cat VS Dog.
5. How will this all end? Erm, isn’t it obvious?

Based on the series of…

View On WordPress

Big Ass Spider! (2013)

Big Ass Spider! (2013)

There's something familiar about this setup... something involving a giant gorilla, perhaps?

There’s something familiar about this setup… something involving a giant gorilla, perhaps?

Twitter Plot Summary: A spider escapes military hands and, doubling in size at regular intervals, goes on a rampage.

Five Point Summary:

1. Slow motion introduction. Not a bad start.
2. The mismatched buddy pairing is very good.
3. Obligatory romance angle.
4. Park carnage!
5. That’s a big ass spider.

Have…

View On WordPress

Heavy Metal (1981)

Very odd, very Moebius.

Very odd, very Moebius.

Twitter Plot Summary: An animated film based on the magazine of the same name. There’s nudity, violence and the battle between good and evil.

Five Point Summary:

1. A New York taxi driver. And nudity.
2. Captain Sternn on trial.
3. B-17 bombers.
4. A discussion in the Pentagon. And nudity.
5. A fight to the death. And nudity.

Heavy Metal began life as a comic book/magazine,…

View On WordPress

The Inbetweeners 2 (2014)

The Inbetweeners 2 (2014)

Jay had very particular ideas about how to use a boomerang.

Jay had very particular ideas about how to use a boomerang.

Twitter Plot Summary: The Inbetweeners are back, this time on a jolly down in Australia.

Five Point Summary:

1. Hands up anybody who thinks Jay may be lying?
2. Pretentious travelling types. Ugh.
3. The guitar sequence cannot be unseen.
4. The water park. Say no more.
5. The outback, without water. Clever.

Few could have predicted how…

View On WordPress

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Starting to look a bit worse for wear now, Jason.

Starting to look a bit worse for wear now, Jason.

Twitter Plot Summary: Could this finally be the end of Jason Voorhees? No, but they had a good go at finishing it once and for all.

Five Point Summary:

1. FBI make Jason go BOOM!
2. Finger snapping. Eek.
3. Poor Steven Culp. He deserved better.
4. There are a lot of bodies around here.
5. Dragged down to hell. Is this… the end? Don’t be daft.

A…

View On WordPress

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

He doesn't look too happy.

He doesn’t look too happy.

Twitter Plot Summary: Marvel risks it by giving us a bunch of characters most people have never heard of. It’s also set in outer space.

Five Point Summary:

1. I must get my hands on this soundtrack.
2. Avengers, assem…. hang on, never mind.
3. The Collector… any point, really?
4. That whistle weapon is evil.
5. Behold, the immense scope of the Marvel Cinematic Universe!

View On WordPress

Hercules (2014)

Nice hat.

Nice hat.

Twitter Plot Summary: Hercules, the man, the myth, the legend. But mostly the legend.

Five Point Summary:

1. Ahh, not your typical Hercules tale, then.
2. Ian McShane and Rufus Sewell – legends.
3. Centaurs? Hmm.
4. He. Is. HERCULES!
5. Let’s just destroy everything, why not?

The legend of Hercules has long been a favourite topic for filmmakers over the years, and in a perfect example of…

View On WordPress

Tangled (2010)

The bunny rabbit, a girl's natural enemy.

The bunny rabbit, a girl’s natural enemy.

Twitter Plot Summary: Rapunzel has been stuck in her tower for 18 years, and takes the opportunity to get out when she meets Flynn Rider.

Five Point Summary:

1. 18 years in a tower? Selfish old hag.
2. Flynn Rider and his ever-changing nose.
3. Maximus, super horse!
4. Lanterns. Gorgeous.
5. All ends well.

Disney’s 50th animated classic saw the company…

View On WordPress